


The Mystery Gang

by Pinklady6457



Category: Gravity Falls, Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gem Kids, Alternate Universe - Relativity Falls, Comedy, Crushes, Ford is dumb to notice people have crushes on him, Love Triangles, Multi, Mystery, everyone's underage so no lewding, mystery gang - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-25
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:27:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21812917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pinklady6457/pseuds/Pinklady6457
Summary: When Stanley and Stanford visit their Graunty Mabel in her tourist trap in the small town Gravity Falls, Oregon, they're expecting a boring and uninteresting summer, but when Ford finds a mysterious journal hidden away in the forest and Stan befriends some rather unique gems, their summer is turned to an epic adventure full of mystery, rivalry, and maybe some romance if you turn your head a bit.
Relationships: Fiddleford H. McGucket & Ford Pines (One-sided), Pearl (Steven Universe) & Ford Pines (One-sided)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 20





	The Mystery Gang

* * *

When you think of summer, what comes to mind first? Beaches, camping trips, old fashioned family barbecues? I once thought that too.

Greetings, my name is Ford, the guy next to me about to puke is my brother, Stanley, the guy next to Stanley holding out a shovel is Fiddleford, the three on the back holding those weapons are Garnet, Pearl, and Steven and finally the purple one on the top of the cart is Amethyst.

You may be wondering what we’re doing here, fleeing from a creature of unknown terror, but I’ll explain it.

It all started when our Ma and Pa sent us to our great aunt’s place in the woods. Our Aunt Mabel transformed her cabin into a complete tourist trap. We work in her Mystery Shack and all that, but we aren’t alone. We work with, like seven other people. Wendy- 15, Fiddleford- 12, Garnet-15, Pearl-12, Amethyst-8, and Steven-... he’s an adult. The last four are... odd to say the least. I tried to show Graunty Mabel how it proves things aren’t as they seem, but of course, she doesn’t listen.

But anyways, things changed one day...

* * *

”I don’t see why my plan didn’t work!” Stanley ranted to his brother. “I mean, I rigged it, but she just threw it out! It doesn’t work like that, does it?!”

”Well, I guess it works like that now.” Ford said.

”Augh! All I want is a girlfriend...”

”I know Stanley.”

”We both know.”

The twins jumped back, before singing in relief. “Oh Steven,” Stanley started, “you have a way of sneaking up on us.”

”It’s an acquired talent.” Steven said. “And don’t you worry Stanley, I’m sure any minute now, the girl of your dreams will walk through that door!”

”Huh! Really!” Stanley said. The three looked in anticipation... before a woman in her sixties, covered in glitter glue, holding a pig and wearing a pink fez with a shooting star on it.

”Aw, Steven!” Stanley groaned. Ford couldn’t help chuckling.

”Oh hey guys!” Mabel said in her usual happy tone. “I need one of you guys to hang these signs in the forest.”

”I broke my ankle.” Wendy lied, not looking up from her magazine. 

”Don’t worry Ms. Pines, I got it-“ Steven was saying before the air conditioner broke, and by that, it feel down on to the ground and broke. “Or not. Maybe Pearl and Fiddleford could help me if they’re finished with the golf cart, that is. I swear that those two make the best team-“

”Fiddleford! Don’t spit!” Pearl’s voice chided. She was around his and the Pines twins age.

”Well _sorry._ Maybe I’ll consider that when _you_ stop acting like a friggin ballerina and priss!”

”I’m not surprised by your outburst, you’re just a... a _country bumpkin!”_

”If I were a rotten no-good, I would say some terrible things to you, but I won’t since I’m a Christian man!”

”You’re a _child.”_

”When I finish my death-ray, you’re gonna be the first I use it on!”

”I feel like we’re pushed under the bus here.” Stanley muttered under his breath.

”Okay... how about you Ford?” Mabel said. “You could use the fresh air.”

”Graunty Mabel, I don’t feel safe in those woods-“

”Not this again.” Stan grumbled.

”No, I feel like something’s watching me, look at my mosquito bites, they spell beware!”

“That says bewarb.”

”Look sweetie.” Mabel said, “it’s all just stories people tell for entertainment. And I sell them things reminding them of that entertainment. Now please hang these signs.”

”Why can’t Amethyst or Garnet do it?”

”Garnet’s doing something and I don’t trust Amethyst going into the forest alone.” Steven said.

* * *

Ford grumbled under his breath as he hanged up the signs. “Why does no one believe me. I mean, with the gems around, surely Graunty Mabel should believe in the paranormal, but no. She just says the same thing.”

_They aren’t from Earth sweetheart. And not from town. And they’re on our side!_

Suddenly, Ford hit a tree... but it didn’t sound right. It sounded like... metal...?

He ended up breaking a small door on the side of the tree. He gasped and looked inside. There was a dusty book, it was blue. Ford dusted it off and saw the pine tree on it.

”What the...?” Ford began flipping through the pages and found the last one.

”It’s been confirmed, I’m being watched.” Ford read under his breath in mild terror. “I must hide this boom before he finds it. Remember, in Gravity Falls, there’s no one you can trust... no one you can trust...”

”Hey!” Ford screamed and fell. Stan and Amethyst were both snickering. Amethyst looked to be about eight years old, the youngest one.”

”What’s that you got there?” Stanley asked. “Is it a nerd book?”

”Uh... it’s nothing!”

”Oh, is it dirty?” Amethyst laughed.

”No!” Ford was blushing heavily.

”Uh, you gonna show us, or what?” Stan asked.

”...Let’s get back to the shack...”

* * *

”Look at all of this!” Ford showed Stan and Amethyst. “Graunty Mabel thought I was being paranoid, but it’s all true! Look, floating eye balls, cursed doors gno-“

”That’s cool!” Stanley said. “But you wanna hear some news?”

”You’re gonna make us dinner?” Amethyst asked.

”Nope, even better. I have a wing-man!”

”What...?” Ford asked.

”I’m going to the bathroom.” Amethyst announced and left the room. 

”Yeah, a wing-man. He’s gonna help me get a girlfriend.”

”So in the half hour I was gone, you found a wing-man, but no girlfriend?”

”A wing-man is one step closer to a girlfriend, and he’s coming over-“ the doorbell rang. “Oh, right now I guess.” Stanley ran over to answer the door.

Mabel walked into the room and Ford hid the book and found another to look like reading instead. He just got a gut feeling he shouldn’t let her see it.

”Hi hon. Whatcha reading?”

”Oh I’m reading... ‘ _My Beautiful Vampire Boyfriend’_...?" Okay, not the best, but it’ll work.

”Oh I love that book series. Maybe we could watch the movies- huh! Stanley, who’s this?” Mabel said gleefully. “Did you make a friend?”

”Yep, guys, meet my wing-man!”

”Oh, what’s your name sweets?”

”Normal... man!”

”He means to say Norman.”

“Are you bleeding, Norman?” Ford asked.

”...It’s jam.”

”Everyone loves jam!” Mabel announced. “I like him. Can I take a picture of you two?”

”Okay.” They both agreed. Ford felt something was... off with Norman.

* * *

”Known for their pale skin and bad attitudes, these creatures are often mistaken as... teenagers?! Beware Gravity Falls’ nefarious... ZOMBIE!!!”

Ford looked outside, Norman was moving closer to his brother and he screamed. “No, no, no, no! Watch out Stanley!” Norman sprayed some cologne on Stanley and he grinned. “Aw thanks pal! Now I’m sure to be a babe magnetic!”

”Is Norman a zombie...” Ford muttered to himself.

”He isn’t.” Ford almost fell to the floor and screamed a bit. He turned and saw Garnet, calm as ever.

”Garnet, how can you be sure.”

”I just am. How are you so sure he is a zombie.” She said.

”I’m going to investigate,” Ford said, “I’m not risking my brother’s life.”

Garnet nodded. “Go on, but find evidence. Or else people’ll think you’re crazy. And don’t scream like that, I’m sure you gave Mabel a heart attack.”

Ford nodded. “You’re right. I’m gonna keep this to myself. Except you already know.”

Garnet hummed.

”Thanks Garnet!” Ford ran down the stairs, ready to investigate.

* * *

So far, Ford had found nothing. Not a thing to even suggest Norman was a zombie. He did some... odd things, but nothing to prove it. But still, Ford walked up to him and Stan’s room.

”Stan.” Ford said. “I have something I need to tell you.”

”What is it?” Stan asked. “In a few, me and Norman are gonna find some hikers, hopefully some girls, and see if I could get their numbers.”

”Stan, I think Norman is a... shabam!” He flipped to the page, or at least the page he thought so.

”You think Norman’s a gnome?”

”What? No, wait... shabam!” This time, he showed the correct page.

”A zombie? Ford, that is not funny.”

”I know! But there’s proof still! The way he walks, talks, he doesn’t blink, did you notice that?!”

”Maybe he’s blinking when you’re blinking.”

”Stanley, I’m your older brother, and I’m not gonna let you get killed by a zombie!”

Stan huffed. “Ford, Norman is my friend, and I am going to get a girlfriend, be happy and not have your nerd shit ruin it!”

Ford gasped, but was pushed out the door.

* * *

Ford looked through his footage and sighed. “Maybe I am just crazy... Norman’s alright, and when Stanley get’s back I’ll, wait- what?” He rewinded the footage the point focus was on Stanley flirting with a redhead, but in the back... Norman was picking up his hand as it feel and putting it back on!

”Oh my God! I was right, I was right!”

Ford ran outside, Mabel was giving a tour and the golf cart was out, finished. Ford hopped inside and was about to drive off when he heard someone calling his name. Ford turned and saw Fiddleford.

”Fidds! I’m sorry, but I gotta use this golf cart to save my brother from a zombie!”

Fiddleford was quiet, but then he grabbed a shovel and baseball bat. “I’m coming with ya.”

”You believe me?”

”Sorta. And I’d do _anything_ to get away from Pearl for a while.”

”Let’s go then!” Ford hit the speed petal and drive deep into the forest.

* * *

”Stanley, there’s something I gotta tell you... a few things actually.”

Stan hummed, “What is it?” _Please say you found me a girlfriend._

”J-Just keep an open mind, alright.” Norman unzipped his jacket to reveal...

”So, we’re gnomes.” Stan stood agape, not sure what to say.

”I’m Jeff,” the one on top started, “and he’s Jason, Carson, Dave, Steve and sorry, I always forget your name.”

”Shmebulock.”

”Right, got it.”

”Are you guys gonna kidnap me?” Stan asked.

”No, no, no. You see, us gnomes are plagued with a monster. We try to defeat it, but it keeps coming to us. It killed our Queen...” They all looked down solemnly. “When we saw you, we knew you’d be able to help us fight that fiend. So what do you say? We’ll also totally give you a girlfriend after this.”

The last part was what really sold Stan. “I’ll do it!”

* * *

”Don’t worry Stanley, we’ll save you from that zombie!” Ford cried as they rode into the forest. “Wait, what’s going on?” They found that Stan was being dressed in armor. Or rather a bunch of dead tree bark and branches.

”Oh hey guys! As it turns out, Norman is a bunch of gnomes, and they want me to fight some monster that killed their Queen!”

”Gnomes,” Ford grumbled. “I was way off.”

”Would you two like to join the battle as well?” Jeff said.

”What are we fighting, exactly?”

Just as Ford said that, a giant... thing come out of the bushes. It’s body was like a giant centipede, all green with a sort of white mane coming out of it.

”That.” Jeff said. “We’re fighting that.” The gnomes all screamed and ran away in fear.

”Well thanks a lot.” Fidds muttered under his breath before all three of the boys screamed. Stan hopped in and Ford drove off. Before they knew it, they drove by the gems and Steven.

”What are you guys doing?!” Pearl yelled. “This is extremely dangerous for mere humans-“

”Just help save our butts!” Stan cried. “The gnomes tricked me!” The four exchanged a look before the three hoped and on the back and Amethyst went on the top of the cart. “Amethyst, are you sure you wanna be there?” Steven asked. “It’s fine!”

The seven of them continued to drive away, Ford muttering to himself. “We need an attack plan, what should we do?!”

”Maybe we should-“ before Steven was able to finish his sentence, they all heard big, rattling steps. Only the monster chasing them didn’t have legs.

They turned to see a giant gnome monster, looking closer you could see it was made of little gnomes.

The twins cheered. “The gnomes aren’t cowards!” Fiddleford said happily. The gnomes tried launching themselves at the monster with no effect. Most of them landed in the golf cart. “Throw us at the monster!” The gnomes cried. They did as they said, trying to attacking in other ways as well. Pearl was trying to shoot light at the centipedile and Garnet punched the gnomes to the monster. However, due to them not looking, they didn’t know they were headed full speed to a cliff until it was too late.

”Watch out!” Stan yelled as they all screamed as they fell down the cliff and to the ground. Near the shack.

”Ah!” Ford cried, everyone huddling up. “Where’s Graunty Mabel?!”

* * *

”And now, allow me to show you this! The worlds most distracting object!” Mabel unveiled a swirling thing of black and white to the tourists. She, the tourists and even Waddles were entranced. “I don’t even remember what I was talking about...”

* * *

The centipede monster came closer to the group gnomes came too. The centipede knocked the gnomes out of their formation and they all come toppling down near the group.

”We’re down for!” Jeff said. “I’m sorry Stan, we just thought you’d be the best for this job.”

”Wait, I have an idea!” Stan said, looking towards the leaf blower. He grabbed Jeff and sucked him in.

“Stanley, what are you doing?!” Ford asked. 

“I’m gonna launch you into it’s gem Jeff.”

”What?!”

”Don’t launch him in it’s gem!” Steven cried.

”I’m gonna launch you in it.” Stanley said. “Would that work?”

”Yeah,” Garnet said. “Hurry Stanley!”

”Okay!” Stan aimed for it and everyone went to help him. “Thanks guys!”

”Don’t worry Jeff, you’ll be okay.” Pearl assured him.

”I don’t _feel_ like I’ll be okay!”

”Countdown!” Stanley cried. Everyone grinned and counted down along with him.

”Five! Four!-“

”I don’t wanna do this!”

”Three! Two!”

”I’m scared!” Jeff cried. “Don’t be,” Garnet said.

”One!” They launched the screaming gnome to the monster, it’s sharp hat piercing the centipede’s chest. The monster went away in a sort of explosion and the gem fell down with it. Steven picked it up and bubbled it, sending it away to somewhere else.

Everyone cheered as they celebrated victory. Jeff came back, dusting himself off. “Thank you all very much.” He said. “Remember, you have an ally in the gnomes of the Gravity Falls forest. And Stanley, we will get you a girlfriend!”

”Yes!”

”And you’ll help us find a new Queen?”

”Sure!” Stan turned to Ford.

”Hey Ford, I’m sorry I got so mad at you back there. Even though you were wrong, like really wrong, you were trying to look after me.”

”Yeah. I’m sorry I thought Norman was a zombie and all. He just turned out to be a bunch of friendly-ish gnomes. You forgive me?”

”High six?”

”High six!”

Fiddleford turned to Pearl, before saying anything, she spoke up.

”I still hate you.”

”As do I.” Fidds agreed.

”Anyways, we should all be going!” Jeff said. “May we meet again, Stanley!” The gnomes walked off and waved at him. Stan waved back, a little teary eyed as the gnomes left to the forest.

”Are you crying?” Amethyst asked loudly.

”Wh-What! No. I’m shooting attack poison from my eyes! Like a lizard!” Everyone laughed and headed inside.

”Oh my gosh!” Mabel cried, running to them. Waddles made an oink of concern.

”Are you all okay? You look like you got hit by a bus!” Mabel began to try to clean everyone’s wounds and bruises.

Steven smiled. “Thank you Ms. Pines. We were just-“

”Hanging out.” Fiddleford answered.

”Oh, you all must’ve had fun! And you know what, Stan and Ford. Take something from the gift shop! As a memory of your first week here!”

”Really!” Stan asked.

”Absolutely!” Mabel finished the two up and they went to find some stuff.

Ford found a plain red turtle neck sweater. Mabel often made sweaters and sold them. This was the only plain one he found. He looked at his ruined white shirt and changed. “Better.” He said approvingly, putting his brown jacket over it.

”And I’m getting... brass knuckles!” Stanley held them up, they were a bit big for him, but he wanted them either way.

”Oh, you two look so great! Everyone get together, I’m taking a picture and it’s going on the scrap book!”

The entire group stood together and smiled. “Say cheese!” Mabel cried.

”Cheese!”

* * *

Ford was in bed writing in the journal he found well Stanley was practicing his punching. The gems went home a while ago.

_This book told me not to trust anyone, but when you fight a giant monster with them, you realize they probably always got your back. I can’t wait to find what other secrets Gravity Falls has to offer. This is Stanford Pines, signing off for the night._

”Stanley, can you turn off the light?” Ford asked.

”On it!” Stanley punched the lantern with his brass knuckles, the lantern, as expected, broke. “They work!” The twins laughed.

* * *

Mabel walked to the vending machine, and looked around. Once she was sure she was alone, she typed in a code and the vending machine opened like a door. She walked in, looked around one more time, and closed the door. 


End file.
